Lost
by ShadesofImagination
Summary: Remus is feeling more than a little lost and Sirius, as usual, isn't helping matters much. RL/SB. MWPP Era.


**Notes: My first foray into something other than Final Fantasy. Hopefully I didn't butcher anything too badly. **

…

**Lost**

…

Remus was lost.

He couldn't rightly say when, or how, it happened. One moment he was admiring the way Sirius' eyelashes gently brushed against his smooth cheeks, pink from excitement, and the next he was blinking rapidly, trying to come up with a suitable answer to a question he hadn't even heard. Sirius was staring at him expectantly and he mentally sighed. "Of course."

Evidently that had been the correct answer because Sirius' face broke into a massive grin and he threw himself at Remus. "I knew it," he declared.

His part done, Remus held his smile, which wasn't hard to do with Sirius practically in his lap, and went back to admiring his friend and nodding along to the conversation he wasn't following.

The Marauders were nestled into Hagrid's hut, warming themselves by the fire after the snowball fight the four of them had taken part in. Lily had chosen to come along and she was seated primly next to James, trying not to smile. She was failing if the twitching of her lips was anything to go by.

Warm, with an all-too-large mug of cider next to him, Remus was content….mostly. He would have been more so if Sirius hadn't been idly running his thumb over his fingers or tossing his head around, just enough that his scent filled the air around Remus' nose. It was nearly intoxicating with his advanced sense of smell: expensive leather and polish, fine material with natural dye, and oranges, his favorite food. There was the underlying hint of oil, probably from the muggle motorbike he was so fascinated with and the sweetness of Sirius' magic was smooth in the air, rich and warm all on its own. Discreetly, he took a slow, deep breath, savoring it.

Someone tugged on his hair, ruining the moment and successfully breaking him away from his thoughts.

"Moony, you're woolgathering."

Remus fought the urge to grin. It wasn't often that Sirius used a term like that. "Sorry."

Sirius rolled his eyes and gave a dramatic sigh, throwing an arm around Remus' neck. James had finally coaxed Lily into the conversation and they were animatedly arguing over who exactly had hit who in the face and how many times. Peter was sipping his butterbeer, watching the scene with his usual expression of annoyance and fondness. He wasn't the most agreeable boy, but James and Sirius had found a grudging respect for him in their first year when he'd stood up to Malfoy. In the end he'd been hexed, but that didn't matter to the two of them. Anyone that had enough guts to do something like that was okay in their book. Remus hadn't been friends with them at that time but he remembered the day. Their friendship had come later, in their second year, when they'd cornered him. The four had stood in silence for nearly a quarter of an hour until Sirius couldn't take it anymore and finally blurted out that they knew he was a werewolf and that they didn't give a rat's ass. The next morning, his three roommates threw themselves down around him at breakfast and hadn't left since.

"You're looking very…_serious_."

Remus rolled his eyes when Sirius smirked at his own joke. "I'm looking _at_ Sirius," he corrected.

"You're looking seriously at Sirius."

"Or, perhaps, I am seriously looking at Sirius."

"You're looking very serious while seriously looking at Sirius."

The two stared at each other. Remus bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing just as Sirius' eye twitched and that was all the two could take. They burst out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of their conversation and something tightened in Remus' chest at the happiness reflecting in Sirius' face. His last statement hadn't been that off the mark. Only a fool would look at Sirius and find him unattractive. Sirius was gorgeous.

"Remmy?"

Remus jumped. He'd lost himself again. "Sorry, what?"

A warm hand grabbed his wrist and Sirius yanked him up. Behind his mug, Peter's eyes widened slightly and he set it down with a thump. "Where are you two going?"

Sirius shrugged. "Kitchen, I'm hungry." Peter looked like he wanted to join but Sirius waved off-handedly, thanked a rather inebriated Hagrid and pulled him out the door before anything else was said.

They were half way to the castle before Sirius finally slowed his pace and let go of Remus' wrist. He brushed aside his slight disappointment and fell into step with Sirius, glancing up at the sky. It had snowed most of the day but the night was clear and the stars were twinkling down at them. The full moon had just passed and, thankfully, there was just a sliver of it visible. He didn't particularly enjoy the night, for obvious reasons, but snowy nights, where everything was blanketed in white, were his favorite.

Next to him, Sirius came to a stop and sighed. "Remus?"

"Hmm?" He glanced over and Sirius was looking up at the sky, face tilted up, hair falling back. His face was pink from the cold and Remus briefly wondered why the wolf kept him from feeling the freezing temperatures.

"Would you kiss me again?"

Remus froze. Sirius wasn't supposed to know about that. He shouldn't have done it in the first place but Sirius had looked so…appealing, tousled hair spread across the wrong end of his bed, in the blue pajamas Remus had gotten him last Christmas. His breathing had been even and slow, the air was heavy with the scent of sleep and relaxation, a very smooth, heady smell. "W-what?"

Sirius dropped his gaze from the sky and turned to his friend. "Moony, I want you to kiss me again."

It was rare for Pads to ever be serious about something, especially when there was an opportunity for a joke around and Remus was wary. What if he was just making fun of him? "Sirius, you don't-"

"Yes. I do, Remus, please. I've been trying to keep myself from kissing you all week and now that I can I want you to do it." Sirius closed the distance between them, grabbing one of Remus' bare hands with one of his own gloved ones and waited in silence.

Despite the perfect opportunity presented to him, Remus was hesitant. Was it really that easy? Five long years of loving Sirius in silence, all boiling down to a few minutes on a snowy night? Could he handle it if all Sirius ever wanted was a single kiss to satiate his curiosity? "Sirius, I can't."

"Why not?"

Remus shook his head, moving to step back but was held in place. "This…this is just curiosity, Sirius. You'll wake up tomorrow and our friendship will be ruined. I can't loose you, Sirius, no matter how much I want this."

Sirius' frown turned thoughtful and after a long moment he nodded. "Fine. I'll prove it to you."

"There's nothing to prove."

"Yes, there is! I want to try this and you're scared."

"Of course I'm scared!" Remus snapped. "Werewolves mate for life. I get one shot, Sirius, one. If you change your mind in two weeks to go after some Hufflepuff it won't matter for me because the wolf will want no one else."

Sirius' face paled and Remus instantly regretted his words. He'd never meant to tell any of them that. "Rem, I'm sorry. I was being selfish."

"No, it's fine. Can we…can we just forget about this?"

He relaxed when Sirius nodded and gave him a weak smile, turning to continue on their way to the castle. It didn't escape Remus' notice that Sirius kept a firm grip on his hand, lacing their fingers together, for the rest of their journey.

…

**End.**


End file.
